Goblin

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Dexter S This movie made me rethink my life. I was hanging out at a friends house and he said, "hey I saw this movie we might like to watch!" little did I know I signed up for the worst experience of my life. The best character dies. The dialog is awful and the plot is nonexistant. ' Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 04/23/25 Full Review John E at my showing showing a man had a purple shirt and he yelled omfg I think I'm gonna blow and I saw what i thought was soda but it was piss, apparently he brought his 3 year old and was jacking off because he thought the goblin was hot Rated 5/5 Stars •  Rated 5 out of 5 stars 08/12/24 Full Review zara b It was a sick movie, the part we're the goblin fucks the mother is really scary tho, other then that the movie was lit Rated 5/5 Stars •  Rated 5 out of 5 stars 12/29/22 Full Review Audience Member So fresh! A must see! Absolutely hands down the scariest movie I have ever seen. Joe Cummings' performance as Danny was the best acting I have ever seen. He plays Danny, the fierce protector of the family who hunts down the vicious cougar and saves the neighborhood. He also shows his wife who's boss. When I grow up, I want to be just like him. The CGI is absolutely mind blowing! I will never look at windows the same ever again. The scene where the Goblin's long arms and spidery hands are gently caressing the windowpanes made me literally shit my pants. I was so scared, I now need to wear adult diapers wherever I go. I literally screamed out "Oh God!" when I saw his scary hands. Danny Jr's performance was electrifying. Never in my life have I cared so much for a take-out box of Beijing beef. His beautiful delivery left me in tears. He deserves an award: best performance of the decade. The Goblin demonstrates time and time again throughout this film that he is a true Sigma Male. He has the body of a Greek god. The appetite of a Tyrannosaurus Rex. And a face akin to Michelangelo's David. He can get any woman he wants and he knows this. This is why he does not care if his love interests see his humongous mounds of feces. He still can swoop in and woo even a beautiful goddess like Ashley Rene. Goblin proves to be a timeless, enduring tale of a heart-wrenching love triangle. I cannot wait for Goblin 2: The Gobbening: Danny Jr.'s Revenge. I am so excited to see Goblin Jr! Anyways, I will see you on my next review. I gotta eat!!! Rated 5/5 Stars •  Rated 5 out of 5 stars 02/12/23 Full Review Audience Member This is simply one of the best cinematic experiences I have had. Too bad it did not a have a theatrical release. The character development exceeded my expectations and the plot has a distinct first, second, and third act. For anyone who has not seen "Goblin" yet, this movie will keep you on your toe right to the credits. Rated 5/5 Stars •  Rated 5 out of 5 stars 02/16/23 Full Review Audience Member This movie was absolutely terrible. If I were to break it down scene-by-scene, I would have written an entire novel. There are unfinished plots, bad editing is everywhere in the movie, the background noise is just one "song" on loop throughout the entire film. The person who made the soundtrack probably thought, "Whatever, I have a party to be at. I'll just put this one sound through the entire movie and leave it like that. Besides, I have to finish it tonight," and even though it's supposed to be horror, the quality of Goblin makes it a comedy. If you do have plans to watch it, don't think of it as a serious horror movie. Overall, I would only watch it for the joke. P.S. The acting seems fake and contrived, so that is part of it. Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 01/17/23 Full Review Read all reviews

Goblin

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