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Ian Simmons

Tomatometer-approved critic
Biography:

In 2009, Ian created "Kicking the Seat: Movie Reviews from the Last Guy Anyone Asks", which includes written reviews, podcasts, and a YouTube channel. He lives in Skokie, IL with his wife, kids, and a ridiculous amount of movies on shelves.

Critics' Group:

Reviews

Movies 온라인카지노추천 Shows
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) 61% “The filmmakers may have broken the bank by furthering digital special effects, but, in terms of scale, this entry feels downright cheap.” – Kicking the Seat Apr 21, 2025 Full Review Ash (2025) 73% 2/5 “This movie is Exhibit A as to why we need to stop funding (with our cash and attention) blatantly unoriginal time-sucks.” – Kicking the Seat Mar 29, 2025 Full Review I Like Movies (2022) 100% 5/5 “Levack carefully plants the seeds of her film’s serious turn throughout, so that when "I Like Movies" steers hard into its coming-of-age rough patch, the tonal shift feels natural.” – Kicking the Seat Feb 25, 2025 Full Review Scrap (2022) 98% 5/5 “Scrap overflows with the nuisances, distractions, and blessings in disguise that sometimes make capital-A Avoidance an alluring alternative to confronting life.” – Kicking the Seat Dec 20, 2024 Full Review The Apprentice (2024) 83% 2.5/5 “While it’s true that the film comes off as blatant, low-key election interference, it also offers a challenge to those who prefer their politics served up bite-sized and compartmentalized.” – Kicking the Seat Nov 4, 2024 Full Review Eight Eyes (2023) 2/5 “When a movie turns on its protagonists so early in the game, it’s really difficult to unglaze the eyes—but exceedingly easy for the brain to play “Spot the Reference” as a way of coping for the remaining seventy minutes.” – Kicking the Seat Sep 26, 2024 Full Review Thank You 5 (2020) 4.5/5 “Whether you love live theater or didn’t know it still existed outside of Broadway, Thank You 5 will make you laugh, think, and demand to know what’s next for its supremely talented cast and crew.” – Kicking the Seat Jul 13, 2024 Full Review The Exorcism (2024) 27% 3.5/5 “If you cut out the “surprise” introduction of a third-party antagonist in this scene, these few minutes of screen time are highlights in an already remarkable film.” – Kicking the Seat Jun 21, 2024 Full Review Hard Miles (2023) 90% “It is not a hard movie to love. ” – Kicking the Seat May 30, 2024 Full Review Lady Ballers (2023) 40% 2/5 “Once again, a great opportunity for working through difficult societal issues in an entertaining movie is hampered by catchphrases, non-arguments, and the easiest jokes one could think of when considering said issues.” – Kicking the Seat Dec 20, 2023 Full Review Silent Night (2023) 60% 3.5/5 “John Woo’s latest film turns a very sharp corner, pushing Christmas movies down a trash-strewn alley of busted street lamps and hopelessness from which they might never return.” – Kicking the Seat Dec 6, 2023 Full Review Only in Theaters (2022) 89% 3.5 / 4 “This isn’t just “a movie about the movie business”; it’s about how a calling gets into the blood and trickles down, generation to generation.” – Kicking the Seat Sep 11, 2023 Full Review Mad Heidi (2022) 89% 4.5/5 “For those looking for more than processed meat on the bones of their over-the-top entertainment, Mad Heidi may represent yet another new sub-genre: Thoughtsploitation.” – Kicking the Seat Jun 20, 2023 Full Review What Is a Woman? (2022) 75% 3.5 / 5 “Yes, viewers will need to contend with Matt Walsh’s agenda, but he does a solid job of presenting various angles from which to discuss the myriad debates rocking our culture right now.” – Kicking the Seat Jun 12, 2023 Full Review The Secret Society for Slow Romance (2022) 3/5 “I thoroughly enjoyed the film’s chill vibe, even as I struggled with my long-established expectations of what I look for in relationship stories.” – Kicking the Seat Mar 18, 2023 Full Review Jesus Revolution (2023) 55% 4/5 “If there is to be an artistic gateway to a new era of nationwide empathy and tolerance, one could do far worse than Jesus Revolution. ” – Kicking the Seat Feb 26, 2023 Full Review Alice, Darling (2022) 84% 1/5 “Take out all the red herrings in this 89-minute navel gaze, and you’re left with a 90s teen soap subplot featuring wholly unlikeable characters from stem to stern.” – Kicking the Seat Feb 10, 2023 Full Review Ukrainians in Exile (2022) 92% 2/5 “As is, the short plays like the “Before” segment of a much longer film about war, during which we’d see the tragic carnage described here but not evidenced.” – Kicking the Seat Jan 20, 2023 Full Review Don't Worry Darling (2022) 38% 1/5 “Don’t Worry Darling may be one of the worst movies of the year, but it’s also the product of what I believe to be this century’s most brilliant cinematic hoodwink.” – Kicking the Seat Sep 25, 2022 Full Review Relative (2022) 100% 5/5 “At a glance, it’s easy to lump in Relative with the dozens (hundreds? thousands?) of weekend-reunion dramas. However, Smith’s allergy to the subgenre’s conventions elevates his movie in deceptively profound ways.” – Kicking the Seat Jun 18, 2022 Full Review Morbius (2022) 15% 3/5 “The further I get from it, the more its flaws seem crippling, but I admire the spirit that Espinosa and company brought to the project, which, Im convinced, was nearly destroyed by a meddlesome and cowardly studio.” – Kicking the Seat Apr 6, 2022 Full Review The Batman (2022) 85% 2/5 “It's the kind of fat, clumsy imposter that a real Batman movie would tie up and leave at the scene of a crime in order to limit the damage it might do to itself and others.” – Kicking the Seat Mar 10, 2022 Full Review Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) 30% 4/5 “Just because a film is born of cynicism and greed, doesnt mean it cant wind up as something noteworthy, even by accident.” – Kicking the Seat Mar 5, 2022 Full Review American Underdog (2021) 75% 5/5 “One of the year's most beautiful, rousing, and inspiring films.” – Kicking the Seat Dec 19, 2021 Full Review Money, Fascism, and Some Sort of Acid (2020) 100% 4/5 “If Ambros is still making movies fifty years from now, I imagine his wild editing and bonkers color experiments will be insufficient in commenting on the sideshow dimension we are sure to inhabit.” – Kicking the Seat Nov 27, 2021 Full Review
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