It's a horrible movie.

Full Review | Mar 17, 2008

Roland Emmerich's prehistoric odyssey 10,000 BC is his silliest, most preposterous blockbuster to date. But it's lots of fun, too.

| Mar 14, 2008

Roland Emmerich's great big CGI blockbuster lumbers along like one of the woolly mammoths that roam across the screen.

| Original Score: 2/5 | Mar 14, 2008

Don't expect Roland Emmerich's 10,000BC to make much sense, historically, geographically or logically.

| Original Score: 2/5 | Mar 14, 2008

Take the kids along; unless you want them to grow up to be palaeontologists.

| Original Score: 3/5 | Mar 14, 2008

Like the lumbering mammoths, it is plodding and dull.

| Original Score: 2/6 | Mar 14, 2008

The mammoths aren't all that is wild and woolly in this innocent, old-fashioned, amusingly self-important, entertainingly mad, rip-snorting throwback to vintage Saturday matinee fare.

| Original Score: 3/5 | Mar 14, 2008

This year's first Event Movie is almost guaranteed to wind up as its dumbest.

| Original Score: 1/5 | Mar 13, 2008

Neither grand enough to be impressive nor antic enough to be charming, the movie settles for bland and frantic, climaxing in a showdown among decadent pyramid builders.

| Original Score: D | Mar 12, 2008

This is just stupidly lazy storytelling, nothing more (and certainly nothing less), and I'd tell the director to be ashamed of himself but I'm pretty darn positive he didn't even notice he did anything wrong.

| Original Score: 1/4 | Mar 8, 2008

One part Joseph Campbell hero quest, one part multi-culti morality tale, one part live-action Flintstones cartoon, 10,000 B.C. is finally every part just plain nuts.

Full Review | Mar 7, 2008

This much-delayed film cries out for consideration for Worst CGI, Most Annoying Narrator, Lamest Dialogue and Dumbest Action Hero.

| Original Score: 1/4 | Mar 7, 2008

Even a cameo by Pauly Shore in Encino Man would liven up this bombastic bore.

| Original Score: 1.5/4 | Mar 7, 2008

10,000 BC would be much better if it allowed itself the freedom to be kitsch.

Full Review | Mar 7, 2008

The best acting comes from woolly mammoths, man-eating ostriches and a saber-toothed tiger -- and those babies are digital. It's the human actors who look fake.

Full Review | Original Score: 1/4 | Mar 7, 2008

While the special effects are top notch... the humans are dull, the dialogue is ridiculous, and anyone expecting a repeat of the action in 300 is going to be sorely disappointed with this bloodless PG-13 adventure.

| Original Score: 1/4 | Mar 7, 2008

The less said about historical accuracy, the better.

| Original Score: 1/4 | Mar 7, 2008

Outrageous and outlandish, Emmerich's 10,000 BC is easy to mock, but it is so cheerfully shameless and terminally silly that you have to admire its effrontery and accept its creator... as a certified crackpot visionary.

| Original Score: 3/5 | Mar 7, 2008

The mammoths are cool. The squealing killer ostriches, perhaps inspired by ancient phorusrhacid fossils, are idiotic but... okay, they're idiotic.

| Original Score: 1/4 | Mar 7, 2008

If you thought 300 was silly, think of 10,000 BC as 33.333 times sillier.

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4 | Mar 7, 2008