Artemis Fowl Reviews
Lots of things happen but nothing unfolds. It's like watching a feature-length trailer for a film that doesn't exist.
| Original Score: 1/5 | Nov 26, 2020
The mischievous glint in [Judi Dench]'s eyes is Artemis Fowl's only nod to irony and self-awareness.
| Original Score: 2/5 | Aug 11, 2020
A sense of indecision hangs over the whole exercise, starting with the screenplay, which has four names attached. Nobody seems to know how funny they're meant to be.
| Original Score: 2.5/5 | Jun 17, 2020
This big-ticket Disney movie is a visual spectacular expertly assembled but it looks unlikely to be remembered as an all-time classic.
| Jun 17, 2020
A fun, fleeting, rather flimsy romp...it doesn't have classic qualities, but it works if you take it for what it is: a 95-minute supernatural fantasy...
| Jun 16, 2020
Test-marketed to death and very weak... I guess if you have kids, this will kill 90 minutes. It's very hard to sit through, though.
| Jun 12, 2020
For whatever reason it just feels like a hodgepodge of scenes strung together to make a feature length runtime.
| Original Score: F | Jun 12, 2020
Artemis Fowl isn't an unqualified good egg, but it's perfectly adequate, and the best of the kid-friendly movies redirected to streaming by coronavirus -- a low bar, admittedly.
| Jun 12, 2020
Disney's adaptation of Artemis Fowl feels like it has holes punched out of it.
| Jun 12, 2020
A glossy and empty exercise in world-building.
| Original Score: 1.5/4 | Jun 12, 2020
This failed Harry Potter wannabe replaces the naughty fun of Eoin Colfer's YA novels about a 12-yer-old criminal mastermind with a dramatically inert and emotionally empty film facsimile.
| Original Score: 1.5/5 | Jun 12, 2020
It's 90 minutes of barely established characters doing half-explained things with mysterious objects.
| Original Score: 1/5 | Jun 12, 2020
Kenneth Branagh directs and gives the film a crisp look but can't make heads or tails of what's going on; there are Shakespeare monologues easier to digest than this convoluted story.
| Original Score: D+ | Jun 12, 2020
One wonders if a director more playful than Kenneth Branagh might have come up with something less hectic and more fun - or even just as hectic and more fun.
| Original Score: 2/4 | Jun 12, 2020
A family-friendly, gorgeously designed action fantasy.
| Original Score: B+ | Jun 12, 2020
Social ills become frivolous punchlines in this dire slice of Hollywood escapism.
| Original Score: 1.5/4 | Jun 11, 2020
Artemis Fowl will not be the hot new kiddie fantasy franchise, based on this utterly charmless first entry.
| Original Score: 1.5/4 | Jun 11, 2020
It really all amounts to one big wasted opportunity filled with kind of unforgivable missteps.
| Original Score: 1.5/5 | Jun 11, 2020
Anyone looking for entertaining young-adult fantasy adventure might as well move along. There's nothing to see here.
| Jun 11, 2020