A vanity project for John Derek to show off how hot his wife is and also has a scene that features a 14 year old girl doing a full frontal nude scene.

I confess that my cinematic weakness is bad 80s movies. When I'm in a certain frame of mind, there is nothing more appealing than a so-bad-it's-good film from this decade. And BOLERO is a textbook example. I would not put up an argument with anyone who feels like a two-star rating is overly generous. You will not find worse acting or screenwriting anywhere, but there's a certain embarrassing joy in watching impossibly good looking albeit questionably talented actors make a movie about nymphomaniacal bullfighting. It's like aliens from the planet Vultron visited Earth for a few days and tried making their own version of human love. It's ridiculous, preposterous, often jaw-droppingly horrendous and must be seen to be believed. And in spite of it all, it IS watchable. Obviously those offended by lots of nudity and sub-human emoting need not make the effort. But if you're trying to keep up to date on your Razzie movies, this is required viewing.

So Bad That It's Pretty Good

It was terrible, I loved it. In the midst of the dialogue being less than poetic it has a lot of moments that are true of human behavior. And boobs:) and ponies! 10 stars

Bolero is an important film in the history of Cannon Films. Menahem Golan worked with John and Bo Derek to make the movie, which was to be distributed by MGM as part of their ongoing deal with his studio. But when Bo screened the film for MGM CEO Frank Yablans, the studio head hated the movie — and its erotic content that would get an X — so much that he invoked a breach of contract clause to terminate their distribution deal. But you know, the millions they spent on this movie had to have made since in 1984, when Bo Derek ruled the world. Or the libido of men. In her teens, Bo Derek quit school, became a beach bum and found her way into the arms and bed of three decades older John Derek, who was married to Linda Evans, who he'd left Ursula Andress for, who he'd left Pati Behrs for. Derek had a thing for young women, as well as using their beauty to further his career, if I can be perfectly frank. After all, the first movie he made with her, Fantasies, was filmed when she was still a minor and is about a young girl in love with her brother and trying to avoid the carnal interest of her grandfather. This may sound like something out of Jess Franco, except that Bo Derek ended up being one of the biggest mainstream celebrities in the world by 1984, thanks to 1979's 10, a movie in which a cornrowed Bo ran right into every man's fantasies (and she's married to Sam J. Jones in that movie). Of course, people tend to forget that once Dudley Moore's character ends up sleeping with her, he realizes that she's not the perfect being that he imagined. Oh yeah — that sex scene is set to Ravel's "Bolero," which is the kind of thing John Derek had to think was sheer genius when he named this movie. This lesson would be lost on everyone that threw money at Bo Derek related projects that came after that film (also, she gets her leg eaten in Orca, so I do have some affection for her). The Dereks made Tarzan, the Ape Man, which has future Ator and Sword of the Valiant actor Miles O'Keefe as the titular character, who barely features in his own movie. Instead, it's all about Jane (Derek), who is frequently nude, often threatened, occasionally body painted and a chimp sucking from Bo's teat. You can imagine how thrilled the Edgar Rice Burroughs estate was. Strangely enough, writer Gary Goddard claimed that he was writing a Marvel Comics adaption starring Bo, which would have been Dazzler, a character who has not yet entered the MCU. Supposedly a remake of the 1934 Carole Lombard and George Raft film that would be written, directed, filmed, shot and edited by John and produced and starring Bo, this seemed like a can't miss movie for Cannon, as even though the Tarzan film was a bomb with critics, it did great box office. Sometime in the 20s, Ayre "Mac" MacGillvary — a virginal 23-year-old American, although Bo seems twenty years older than being 28 years old — has just graduated from an exclusive British college, a feat that she celebrates by running naked across the campus and into the protective blanket of her family chauffeur Cotton (George Kennedy, a man always willing to depondably show up no matter how bad a movie is; he's the American Donald Pleasence). Now, her goal is to find the perfect man to take her virginity, so she takes Cotton and her best friend Catalina (Ana Obregón, who is also in Cannon's Treasure of the Four Crowns) around the world to find ultimate pleasure, which should be sexy but ends up feeling like anything but. Perhaps it was because this movie had been so hyped up, but even when I was a just into puberty charged up bundle of sexual frustration hidden behind a fat kid body and frog-like glasses, even this nerd couldn't see the appeal of Bo writhing cross legged and screaming "Ectasty!" This is not the first movie with a sex symbol of the 80s playing with the plot of Rudolph Valentino's The Sheik — see Brooke Shields in Sahara — that would cost Cannon money. But it's also one that has Bo fall for a bull fighter named Angel (Andrea Occhipinti from The New York Ripper) and then nursing her lover back to balling health after a bull busts his balls. Also, she takes a 14-year-old gypsy named Paloma (Olivia d'Abo) under her wing and yes, the movie sexualizes the girl and yes, d'Abo was 13 going on 14 when he made this. Again, this is not a movie made by a Z grade sleaze director. This was a major studio movie. As dumb and unerotic as the honey licking scene is, the true joy of this movie is the insane press war that ensured between the Dereks and Cannon. There were battles before shooting even began, as obviousy Golan realized that he was making a movie with two absolute maniacs, people who fired Fabio Testi because they believed he had herpes and Cannon had to pay his full salary and cast him in another movie, The Ambassador. The Dereks also fired half the cast and crew, at which point Cannon stopped sending money, at which point the Dereks started funding the movie with their own American Express cards, then a leaked memo from Cannon claimed that Bolero was a "total embarssment." Even today, when you read articles on the web or in past newspaper and magazine articles, there's a lot of confusion over who wanted what. Some claim Brooke went to MGM and begged for them to cut out the sex that Cannon demanded. Others say that Cannon knew they wouldn't be able to advertise the film with an X rating and begged Derek to compromise on his final cut and give them something they could sell. But when MGM dropped Cannon, they made a thousand prints and got ready to make their own money. Of course, Derek then posed for Playboy, giving the public what they wanted to see before Cannon could put it on screens, all photos shot during the movie for publicity purposes that John ended up selling on his own to the magazine, so both sides went to court. Bo even accused Cannon of stealing publicity photos for the movie out of her out of her bag and using them in the film's press kit, which seems to be the reason for the photos in the first place. That sai, the movie still made money. It was a big deal on cable and for years was one of the video rentals that had the "MUST BE 18 TO RENT" handwritten sticker at my local video store. I kind of love that this movie has the Don't Look Now urban legend that the final sex scene is real when obviously it looks faker than the hot tub sex in Showgirls. To paraphrase Senator Lloyd Bentsen to Dan Quayle, "John Derek, I have watched 125 movies by Jess Franco. I have watched him film his wife Lina Romay with many woman and men. Jess Franco and Lina Romay seem like friends of mine. John Derek, you're no Jess Franco." In short, he doesn't seem like the kind of guy willing to cuck himself while the cameras roll on. Bo also claimed that Golan and Globus were so disappointed with the film that they threatened to take away the Derek's family ranch, which sounds like something Cobra Commander — and not the Go-Go Boys — would do. With MGM out of the picture, Cannon was free to make all the money from Missing In Action. As for the Dereks, they'd go on to make Ghosts Can't Do It. I think in this war, Golan and Globus were the winners.

Bolero is a perfect example of John Derek trying to be an Ed Wood wannabe in regards to making any type of film regardless of how erotic he wants to be. All John Derek did while directing Bolero is showing off his beautiful wife (Bo Derek). The plot and writing is just lazy, pathetic, idiotic, and pointless. Exactly one hour into this movie, Ayre (Bo Derek) got what she wanted yet we have to watch this trash for another forty minutes? Poor casting may I add. I mean come on. Bo Derek and Ana Obregón playing college students? There are a lot of nonsensical moments throughout the film like for example, Ayre jumped out of a plane (without a parachute) and survived...really? Idiotic writing at best. The acting was garbage as well. Bo Derek and Andrea Occhipinti were terrible. John Derek's directing is also awful. Especially since he thinks it's a good idea to have people do inappropriate scenes when they're not supposed to perform such scenes. That's just insane and idiotic. At the end of the day, Bolero is just awful. The directing is awful, the writing is awful, and the acting is awful. The entire movie is awful. Bolero should not even be considered a "so bad it's good" kind of movie.

The first time I saw the movie Bolero, I thought it was laughably incompetently awful. Now that I revisit the movie for this list, as well as scan through John Derek's filmography, I noticed one thing in common. All of his movies are schlocky low budget films about sexual fantasies or contrived romances usually starring his wife Bo Derek. Bolero is another entry, except it's about a college graduate Mac (Bo Derek) who's excited to travel around the world and lose her virginity to either a Moroccan sheik (Greg Benson) or a Spanish matador (Andrea Occhipinti). This movie is extravagantly well-known for its awkward sex scenes, overuse of extreme close-ups, horrific acting and even worse writing and direction from John Derek. The sheik's storyline is entirely useless and only serves as the comic foil who drops asleep during sex and is forgotten for the most part. Angel the bullfighter is reduced to this one-dimensional hot bod who Mac ends up marrying at the end. Bo Derek, even though she does have an attractive body, is even worse as she delivers her husband's dopey lines in that dorky plastered smile even during the most dangerous situations. Bolero is not a movie, but an excuse to incorporate a director's wife in soft-core porn. This isn't especially surprising considering Cannon Group's sleazy reputation. (1/2 Underage Nude Teen Girl out of 5)

I wish I could give this less than one star. Completely ridiculous plot, if you can even call it that.

Well deserving of its poor reputation. Set in the 1920s, a young woman sets out to lose her virginity. Her mission leads her to a Moroccan sheik and a Spanish bullfighter. Very weak, to the point of laughable. Very basic, stupid plot. Dialogue is pretty silly too. Performances are in keeping with the general superficiality of the movie. It's really just a skinflick with delusions of being something more romantic and serious. One of many movies written and directed by John Derek where he just used his young (30 years his junior) wife, Bo Derek, as eye candy. The other ones (Tarzan The Ape Man, Fantasies, Ghosts Can't Do It) have met with similar low regard. Poor George Kennedy - he really deserved better.

A very rich woman tries to lose her virginity first to an Arab sheik, and then to a gypsy bullfighter. Later on, when a bull gores her gypsy in the nuts, she tries to cure his impotency by learning how to bullfight herself. This is a terrible film that manages to fail even as dumb softcore porn. Derek is a terrible actress who somehow manages to even ruin her nude scenes. George Kennedy kind of classes up the joint. Andrea Occhipinti stands around looking like Hugh Jackman. Every time he was on the screen, I wished I was watching "Conquest" instead. Olivia d'Abo makes her film debut, and has a couple of nude scenes even though she was only 15. Don't watch this.

The movie can be about bull riding, but the girls were screaming in slow motion, in the movie trailer even.

I was taught that if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all. With that virtue in mind, Wow, Olivia d'Abo gets naked and looks great! Wow, Bo Derek gets really naked and looks great! I don't have anything more to say.

Bo Derek wants to experience extasy, but then she is corrected by a castmember in the spelling of this snoozer and we experience boredom. Svengali director and husband John Derek writes and directs this long, boring and uninspired movie as a Valentine to his wife and the salvating public. What it did was bring Bo Derek another Razzie! The 80s favourite nymphet plays a virgin again(like in John's Tarzan the Ape Man.)who plans to lose her virginity to an oil sheik but it ends up in disaster. Then she hightails it to Spain where she meets a hunky bullfighter, she finally gets laid and the bullfighter is injured for his troubles. She will make him walk and get his libido back in action, how? by entering the bullring, of course. When all is said and done your wishing you hit the eject button a long time ago.

A disappointing and mediocre film directed by John Derek and featuring his wife, Bo Derek. Although Bo Derek is indeed beautiful and is nude through a good half of the production, she lacks the acting talent to sustain a film by herself while poor direction on the part of her husband makes the film dull and boring. Well worth missing.

Erotic cinema needs more than beautiful nude bodies. Having said that, Bolero is so incompetent that even the sex scenes seem staged as physical comedy.

A cheesy sex flick with one of the worst actresses in the leading role and a terrible vanity-ridden director on the helm trying to prove he has style by showing us murky, over-the-top shots of gracious nudity.

I doubt anyone anywhere has ever accused Bo Derek of being a good, or even a mediocre, actress, but "Bolero" reaches a new low even by her standards. She's cute and has plenty of personality, and she even looks like someone you'd like to know personally, but the girl can't deliver a line of dialogue or convincingly convey an emotion to save her life. It's sad really, because she has an amazing body and just seems so nice. But the blame for this film being the disaster that is so clearly is does not rest solely on her tan shoulders. You get the distinct feeling that writer/director John Derek plans her every move in front of and behind the camera, and considering that he's also her husband you'd think he would look of for her better than this. But he seems more concerned with getting her naked and filming it, which is fine by me, but he should be able to write better projects for her than this dopey, dreadfully overlong melodrama. It plays more like a soap opera for adults than a serious picture. The writing is terribly stilted and some of this dialogue is just beyond embarrassing. You'll want to find a rock and hide under it. And in between nude scenes there's an actual story taking up too much of your precious time, even if it does mostly come in Bo circumnavigating the globe trying to lose her virginity.Most of us don't have to work that hard, and it's hard to imagine her having that much of a problem doing that. You sure have to work through a lot of plot to get to the "good stuff" here, and you have to wonder why. "Bolero" is a ridiculous and pretentious film that shows you what can go wrong when you give one man too much control. John Derek, shame on you.

Oh... It just wasn't very good.

"Live fast. Die young and leave a good looking corpse.? Those are the words that made John Derek a young star from the film Knock On Any Door (1949). But he was a bit of a rebel who felt he had something to say but did not like the control of the studio system. At his acting peak, he turned down a lot more than he accepted. With this free time, he practiced writing screenplays and photography. He would soon have a real knack for capturing beauty and finding it, marrying Ursula Andress and later Linda Evans both of which were stars while married to him. In the 1960s, Derek began directing very small budget idiosyncratic films that he wrote directed and photographed. In the early 1970s, he filmed Fantasies in Greece and fell for his newest discovery, Mary Cathleen Collins who soon changed her name to Bo and married John a few years after the film wrapped. Fantasies went nowhere, desperate for cash, John was offered a million bucks to do a tv show but sold his house instead. Him and Bo traveled around and lived in a van. He even shot a porn film (Lovin You) to make a few bucks. Bo loved this time traveling around but they needed work. She went to a casting call for 10 (about a man?s obession with the perfect female), got the part and sudden fame. She turned down big offers (she did not feel comfortable being directed in starring roles, having never carried a film completely) for Sheena Queen of the Jungle and Brenda Starr. One day her husband said, People love the scene in 10, why don?t we do a small movie and just call it Bolero (a sex scene in 10 was very famous for using that piece of music). Out of half baked ideas, fine movies (sometimes) emerge. Bolero (1984) opens in the 1920s, a theater showing The Sheik starring the most sexualized star of the time Rudolph Valentino. Lida MacGillivery (Bo) is turned on by the film. She is with her friend Catalina both are to graduate from private school tomorrow, Lida with a very large inheritance. She plans to use some of this inhertance and lose her virginty, find a sheik in Moracco. But first, she graduates and after years of being prim and proper, she moons her dorm building as she is leaving This kind of scene has been done before in some 80s skinemax films but none of those followed that scene with a long affecting apology scene (0:05), Lida apologizing to her driver Cotton, who witnessed the display, for possibly offending him, and further still, George Kennedy likely would not have played the part in the other films (he adds a real gravitas to the proceedings). Additionally, most sexy films don?t bother with references to old Hollywood and its allure versus the reality of life. When Lida meets her sheik, he went to Oxford and cannot pick her up on a horse the way Valentino could. The sex scene between them played out on a big harem bed is played like a silent film (since it is Lida telling the story of what happened to Catalina and she relates it in this fashion) with title cards [Where is the milk and honey]. The sex scene is unerotic, the milk and honey is handled with drool, but the sheik, it turns out, is not the lover for her; he passes out from too much opium before they get started. She soon takes up with a bullfighter in Spain and the film disregards the Hollywood/reality track but it is picked up again toward the end of the film as the sheik reappears to try to kidnap her and take her in his plane. She jumps out of the plane and into the water in the best illogical silent actioneer like scene I ever saw. Before I move onto the bullfigher, it is worth noting that the Valentino connection is also interesting because Bo was also seen as one of the most desirable in her time: after all in the film, she is kidnapped for love, given great gifts and able to make the bullfighter rise again after suffering impotence (hard to say if John Derek is using the sleepy sheik or the impotent fighter to represent himself, after all he was much older than Bo and with a heart condition, or if the more sturdy George Kennedy represents him. I do know that the themes or bullfighting, wine, machismo and good looks are very much a part of Derek?s persona so maybe he is the bullfighter and maybe Bo helped him to rise again, just a thought) from being gorged by a bull. All this is to say Bo equals beauty and her husband knows it and knows how to capture it whether its her headdress that resembles the dreds from 10 or the Lady Godiva or (kinkily enough) the Clint look. It all works. What also works are the sex scenes once she finds her bullfigher lover. Romance is in the air for all the character (except a young one Paloma that they pick up along the way and is not quite mature enough). Cotton and Catalina both hook up with lovers but Lida gets the sex scenes, both with Angel the bullfighter and both about 7mins in length. She licks his ears; he bites her neck too hard; it is not the bodice ripper novel sex (but what is) and it goes on for a long time (as it should); I cannot tell you how many films are unintentionally funny with their 30 second sex scenes (talk about a dud), at the end of the last sex scene the word ecstasy appears in the air, now that is talent. For blurring the line between reality and fantasy and being yr idiosyncratic and interesting self I say well done John Derek Grade A+

Perfect guide and roadmap for how not to do something