The star's bare-bellied bozo act isn't as innately funny as the film presumes, while a rote redemption arc adds little of interest.

| Original Score: 2/5 | Mar 4, 2025

There are enough laugh out loud one liners that the film isn’t utterly unwatchable. The Machine wants to be the kind of phenomenon that people talk about and word of mouth spreads, but it just doesn’t have the legs the original viral video had.

| Original Score: C | Jul 3, 2024

I’m afraid anyone who isn’t already indoctrinated into the world of Bert “The Machine” Kreischer will struggle to find entry via this movie, which is too long, too stupid and not nearly as funny as it thinks it is.

| Sep 26, 2023

On brand with Kresicher’s stand-up persona, the film pulls some punches but manages a workable story and some laugh-out-loud moments.

| Original Score: 2.5/4 | Aug 18, 2023

Look, "The Machine" doesn’t break the mold in terms of how Bert goes from the worst dad to a better human, but it’s entertaining and possesses quite a few surprises thanks to the structure, editing, performances, and action.

| Original Score: 3/5 | Aug 15, 2023

'The Machine' works as a comedy ... sometimes.

| Original Score: 2 stars | Jun 12, 2023

Nothing about this comedy should’ve worked and it definitely shouldn’t have ended up being as entertaining as it actually is, but here is one of those rare success stories where a little movie plays to its strengths and comes out on top.

| Jun 6, 2023

A so/so comedy/action film.

| Original Score: C- | Jun 2, 2023

If throat punches and drop-kicked dogs are not up your alley, steer clear. Everyone else, down your drinks and get ready because The Machine is the real deal and deserves to be watched in a theater full of fans ready for big-screen comedy.

| Original Score: 8/10 | Jun 2, 2023

...the picture begins to adopt a generic action-movie sensibility that grows more and more tiresome as time progresses...

| Original Score: 1.5/4 | May 30, 2023

Honestly, the only thing less convincing than Kreischer as some kind of Everyman comedy icon, or as an ersatz action hero, is the idea that he’d have something to teach Russian mobsters about drinking vodka.

| May 29, 2023

This clumsy, chunky movie based loosely on Kreischer's comedy material is meant to be a cut-loose fun time, but it's so lifeless (and long) that it feels more like a painful hangover.

| Original Score: 2/5 | May 29, 2023

You may wonder, if Kreischer is such a popular stand-up comedian, why he hasn’t done more television and movie acting. Well.

| May 27, 2023

"The Machine" is ultimately not funny enough to work as a comedy and not thrilling enough to work as an action movie. It's just a middle-of-the-road movie that perhaps die-hard fans of Kreischer can appreciate more.

| Original Score: 5/10 | May 27, 2023

Kreischer fans are surely The Machine‘s target audience, and I suspect they’ll gel enthusiastically with his brand of comedy

| Original Score: 3/5 | May 26, 2023

The comic’s preexisting fans should find plenty to love... But anyone who goes in hoping for any kind of literary substance would be better off just reading the nutrition facts on their Junior Mints box.

| Original Score: C- | May 26, 2023

Bert Kreischer’s schtick is irritating and gets old fast

| Original Score: 2/5 | May 26, 2023

It’s a movie specifically engineered to build Kreischer’s brand, and he’s the least appealing element in it.

| Original Score: D | May 26, 2023

The Machine is loud, gross, obnoxious and overbearing. It’s also disarming, quick-witted, fast moving and becomes increasingly funny.

| May 26, 2023

An unimaginative and toothless dark comedy that's more much meanspirited and dull than funny. It's just as disappointing as Renfield, Mafia Mamma and About My Father.

| May 26, 2023