If the creature in Alien had proliferated like the movie’s knockoffs, mankind would never have survived.

| Jun 29, 2022

Forgettable.

| Original Score: 0.5/5 | Sep 4, 2005

Not only is Patrick Tatopoulos' (I, Robot) creature design laughable, but the actors (other than Hauser who somehow manages to make it through unscathed) give some of most shockingly awful performances I've seen all year.

| Original Score: 1/4 | Sep 3, 2005

A generic duffer that's as exciting as a hole in the ground.

| Original Score: 2/5 | Sep 3, 2005

| Original Score: C+ | Sep 3, 2005

Full Review | Original Score: 2/4 | Sep 3, 2005

The monster/action bits are too jerkily-shot to be exciting and character business is 100% cardboard.

| Original Score: 2/5 | Sep 2, 2005

Fright-wise, The Cave is a dry hole.

| Original Score: C- | Aug 31, 2005

Spare and single-minded, The Cave is an insistently entertaining piece of pulp.

Full Review | Aug 30, 2005

"I haven't seen a hole like this in a long time," one character actually observes. My sentiments exactly.

Full Review | Original Score: 1.5/4 | Aug 27, 2005

The Cave isn't just a bad movie, it's a very, very, very bad movie, so bad that it can't even redeem itself by turning into high camp.

| Aug 26, 2005

Feels stunningly familiar as it goes through the rote edicts of the scientific crew vs. toothy beastie formula.

Full Review | Aug 26, 2005

Somewhere deep beneath the Carpathian mountains, something unholy stirs: It's an unspeakable stinker of a movie called The Cave.

| Original Score: 1/4 | Aug 26, 2005

The Cave is an over-the-top horror flick with one novel offering: It's shot amid a stunning network of subterranean caverns.

| Original Score: 1.5/4 | Aug 26, 2005

A claustrophobic horror film that provides nothing original beyond its underground setting.

| Original Score: 0.5/4 | Aug 26, 2005

Most everyone in the audience, except those rendered unconscious by boredom, will see the 'big twist' plot turn coming well in advance, although the qualifiers 'big' and 'twist' seem overblown and inexact.

| Original Score: 0.5/4 | Aug 26, 2005

The Cave has a brisk B-movie efficiency, and not much space for bad acting, but it is blatantly derivative -- Alien or Predator in a cave.

Full Review | Original Score: 2.5/4 | Aug 26, 2005

Logically, all the monsters would eat all the humans at once, and the movie would be over in about three minutes. In the case of The Cave, that would have been a good thing.

Full Review | Original Score: D | Aug 26, 2005

Is The Cave scary? Not especially, partly due to the creatures' goofy sound effects.

Full Review | Original Score: 2/4 | Aug 26, 2005

The Cave answers every question I've ever had about what might happen when a handful of hotties head deep inside the earth. For starters, the middle-aged and intelligent die early.

| Original Score: 1/4 | Aug 26, 2005